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Free Nichiren Buddhism

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By Christian Oaks

Various Schools of Nichiren Buddhism, Represented as Menu Items

HumorChristian OaksNichiren sectssatire

ENTREES

All entrees come with some form of mantra invocation. Please specify whether you prefer nam- or namu- in your (O)daimoku.

Seared Butsuryu
Gongyo-free devotion marinated in okozui and "sacred formula." Showered with sparks struck from flint. Xylophone on the side.

Shoshu Roll
Narrow strips of exclusivist orthodoxy accompanied by extremely rare ushitora gongyo. Wrapped in priestly robes, sprinkled with sho-hondo dust.

American Independent Platter
Spit-roasted dissent, piled high with questions. Flavored with a subtle hint of bitters.

Shoshin-kai
Tender, early sprouts of reform, cut down and hung out to dry. With whine vinaigrette.

The Minobu
Amulets smothered in mysticism, served on a mandala from our gift shop.

Gakkai Special
A mix of everything, changing daily. Please ask server for details.

Baked Kempon Hokke
Small portion of something. No one ever orders this. We're not sure what it is.

*

DESSERT

Fujufuse
Half the calories and none of the fat of regular ice cream. Made from the milk of strictly practicing cows. Sorry, cannot be served to slanderers or nonbelievers.

Assorted Salty, Stinky Fish Candy
Like a lot of things, this represents Japanese culture more than the teachings of Nichiren Buddhism. But don't let that stop you from incorporating it into your practice. Yum.

Chocolate Maltz

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