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Dec 01, 2008 · BuddhaJones Message Board

Three Views on Intimate Relationships

Cult

Life is easier without sex, the Dalai Lama says:

"Naturally as a human being...some kind of desire for sex comes, but then you use human intelligence to make comprehension that those relationships are always full of trouble."

Can't say I disagree. Then again...
Psychologist John Welwood sees intimate relationships as an opportunity for spiritual growth:

The problem with running away when a relationship becomes difficult is that we are also turning away from ourselves and our potential breakthroughs. Fleeing the raw, wounded places in ourselves because we don't think we can handle them is a form of self-rejection and self-abandonment that turns our feeling body into an abandoned, haunted house. The more we flee our shadowy places, the more they fester in the dark and the more haunted this house becomes. And the more haunted it becomes, the more it terrifies us. This is a vicious circle that keeps us cut off from and afraid of ourselves.

Welwood's essay is loaded with insight. If you're in a relationship, looking for one or fleeing from one it's a must read.

Maybe "Alvy Singer" said it best in Annie Hall:

After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I... I realized what a terrific person she was, and... and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I... I, I thought of that old joke, y'know, the, this... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs.

1 comment

brooke

You've been posting so much. This one slipped by me. Slow down!I love the quote from Annie Hall. I also want to second your opinion that the Shambhala article on intimate relationships is a MUST READ:http://www.shambhalasun.com/in...

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