After 38 years as a leader in the bowling club, last Sunday, they busted me as a Vice WD Chapter Ch. The local WD zone chief was over here and they wanted to come down and visit me and I could tell from the "kyo" (sound of their voices) in the messages they were leaving on my voice mail that goodness was not boded. Finally, on Sunday, I answered the phone and there ensued viciousness from this leader I had formerly adored, I had to raise my voice to her to get her to clarify what she was saying to me, and it was not good, not rational, not deserved.
They never talked with me before about it, not that I would have changed anything. I am just so glad this brutal murder didn't happen in person with them in my holy apartment and my Gohonzon room. Gad, they could have chanted to my dear Gohonzon with that sort of hatred in their lives. Yuck.
My sins? Sending around to my grown bc friends things like "Interview with Shakyamuni", the piece on ND first chanting NMRK, and the piece about whether chanting for others works from this site. Terrible sins, apparently. "We follow Sensei and you have to teach that to your members". Well, I have. I must threaten them so badly what they committed or tried to, was spiritual murder.
I felt bad about it for about ten minutes after I discontinued the phone call (more crap). And then I thought, there are a lot of beings who love me and I love them and I re-established that as the feeling in my heart instead of their "passive violence" as Arun Gandhi calls it.
And I thought of the working sky breezes of the vibrational frequencies of bodhisattva/Enlightenment where I want my life to stay, certainly not in the pits of hell. And then I went on with my life.
I guess I will still go to meetings, I have a lot of good friends there who do not approve of this. I don't understand. Why should this threaten them so? I only taught strak SGI Buddhism (without certain emphases, but we did fine) to the members.
Clue me in, if you can.
Call me dumbf***ed,
Armchair
22 comments
This reminds me of Brooke's Holy Bowling Club Crackdown!Armchair, if I may be totally blunt: If you want to remain a member in good standing of a stupid, soul-killing organization like the Bowling Club, you have to maintain reverence (or the appearance of reverence) for their stupid, soul-killing orthodoxies.In case you hadn't noticed in your 38 years of involvement, the Club is concerned with its own perpetuation and aggrandizement. Period. It's not about you. Really. If you contribute to the perpetuation and aggrandizement of the Club, you're a "cherished member." If you seriously question (or appear to question) the central tenet of the Club, which can be summarized as "Sensei uber alles," you'll find that you're not so "cherished" after all. This is a hard but simple truth.Now. Maybe you believe in your heart of hearts that the Club is a nice bunch of folks who just like to chant -- truly, there are lots of nice folks in the Club who just like to chant -- but the Club is also a multi-billion-dollar political and religious corporation with multinational operations and agendas that you know nothing about. One might even say that their ruthlessness has been well documented.Armchair, if you want to remain one of the nice folks in the Club who just likes to chant, you need to turn a blind eye to the rest of it and toe the line.That said, in the "about" section of this site Beryl specifically recommends that people who want to participate here do so under pseudonyms. It's a privacy issue. Plus -- and you may scoff -- if the Club knows that you read this site and contribute comments, etc., they are likely to "retaliate," as you have described.More and more people find this site (and other alternative sources of information) every day. I hope Club members who read BuddhaJones will refrain from putting themselves at risk by openly associating with or promoting this site within the Club. Seriously, keep it quiet.
Ouch, DD, I am bleeding. It took me days to even tell you guys. I understand what you are saying, I never recommended BJ to the club. I feel I have some bruises on top of the lumps now.
I am sorry you had a terrible experience with the bowling club. You called it spiritual murder, attempted or otherwise. You said that you e-mailed an article from this site to other members. There is no reasonable reason in the whole wide world why you should be persecuted by the bowling club or given crap by anyone for doing such a basic harmless thing.Armchair, but you say the bowling club's response to you was like murder. We have all seen this before, most recently with the shunning of Byrd for the crime of blogging. But...murder, Armchair. That's your word about how it felt to be punished by a club leader.How do you put a smiley face on that and go back to the club? I don't totally get it. The message i got from your post is that this club has the potential to spiritually kill you. I don't understand why you don't get away from them.You could look into this as a new sangha. Sangha should help you feel connected not alienated or murdered.
Armchair, part of me feels sad for you, and part of me wonders what the heck you expect. By now you know independent and critical thought are not welcome in the Club. Are you really surprised that you got spanked by a leader? You entitled your diary Busted.With the internet and info that's available now, I find it hard to believe that Club members don't know the nature of their own Club. It's hard for me to have sympathy for someone who is aware of the Club's abusive history and dynamics, yet remains a member. It just makes me think you're a glutton for punishment. Better to be a lone tusker in the woods than a docile beast in a cage.
DearDenver,Now, I am not exactly wet behind the ears and I am not exactly stupid, though your charge of ignorance may be more accurately watered down into naivete. So, please, don't be hard on me, okay?I have a long history with these people and the illness in the bc has varied over the country/world. In many a chant-a-thon they have earlier saved my blasted butt but something changed in 1990 with these guys when they refused to pony up with the environment being a reflection of their own karma (the priesthood "issue")and started this "stand up for justice" meaning chanting hateful daimoku and things just got worse and worse.Now, maybe it was my, admittedly, incredible naivete/stupidity that I thought if I remonstrated with them (I am anything but a caged pup or I wouldn't be in so much doo doo) in the pure tradition of Nichiren himself, fairly well-informed, which I do think I am to some degree, in the tradition, that maybe, just maybe the light would shine a little bit. You know, given my particular history, I had to try my best, DD, and there was nothing cowardly about it.As it is, I have no regrets about my own behavior. I gave it my honest all. I do crave a compassionate sangha, though, and I hope that BJ is a place where that can be expressed.Armchair
Everythings a big drama in the club.. murder.. bleeding.. bruises.. overheated breathless drama. Everythings a big crisis all the time.Members think they are practicing buddhism but they are spinning through one manufactured problem after another. If all members withdrew from these mind games there would be no more club.Going forward.. posters on this board would best ignore stories of club drama and obvious demands for sympathy. Don't give it oxygen, guys. Don't engage in the drama.
Maybe I am in the vast minority here, but I think if you have been intimately associated with people for 38 years and they engage in some sort of behavior that, to Armchair, was, apparently, an ultimate betrayal, I don't find that inconsequential as it relates to the general discussion of Buddhism and practicing within any given group.It is my impression that the core value of Buddhism in general is compassion but I am not quite sure how that translates. Is compassion a different concept in Nichiren buddhism than other forms of Buddhism that I have studied?Also, is it considered improper on this board to discuss personal experiences?Confused,TL
Tigerlily, I am the site manager and I assure you that all are welcome to share personal experiences about Buddhist practice on this site. Others are welcome to respond as they wish.In my opinion, the experience discussed in this thread is not about dharma practice so much as organizational politics, which I personally wish we could all get beyond. Talking about how hurt or disappointed one is in one's sangha or organization strikes me as gossip. I question the value of sharing this kind of gossip in a public forum.I am not inclined to censor this discussion, though, because I want this to be a forum where a variety of views can be expressed. Perhaps I should reiterate that this site is not intended to be a support group for the many people wounded by SGI.
Thank you for your clarification about personal experiences, Beryl. I really don't have any I would feel okay about sharing on this board, at this time.I wonder, could you, or anyone, shed some light on my inquiry of the nature of thoughts on behavior as related to compassion in regards to Nichiren Buddhism? I have studied some of Nichiren and his teachings. Is his "form" of compassion different from "do no harm" and "understand the root cause of suffering in oneself and others and remove it as appropriate"?I appreciate your efforts to help me understand.Tigerlily
About, the supposedly Buddhistic thought, "those who are among us that are suffering need/deserve the most care". I sense a certain cutthroatiness in this buddhism that makes me think it may not be for me. I like to chant, I have a Gohonzon, but there may be some things in Nichiren's approach to life that are judgemental and unkind and those are not aspects that I respect or wish to cultivate. Is this attitude part and parcel of Nichiren teaching?TL
Hi Tigerlily. One of my teachers used to say the way to be compassionate is "Chant and act naturally."Across Buddhism, you'll find many expressions of the concept of compassion. Behaving compassionately in any given situation is not something you can learn from a book of Buddhist definitions, tho. Wisdom and compassion go together, IMO, in Nichiren Buddhism.For example it may seem compassionate to give a loved one money when he or she is in a broke, desperate situation...but if the reason he is in a desperate situation is because he has spent all his money on drugs and will spend the money you give him on drugs...it's not exactly compassionate. You have to have wisdom too to discern what action is helpful and which is harmful.I have never heard in Buddhism the idea that those who suffer the most should be given the most care. From a Buddhist standpoint, we are all suffering. Nichiren advised: "Suffer what there is to suffer; enjoy what there is to enjoy; consider both suffering and joy as facts of life and continue chanting Namu myoho renge kyo."Sometimes people think that compassion is the same as being "nice," coddling people, kowtowing to their neediness or telling them what they want to hear. That's a simplistic understanding of compassion. As in the example of the loved one/drugs, that kind of "niceness" does no one any service.The purpose of Buddhism is to help each person wake up to their enlightened, basically good nature -- not to make people comfortable with their delusions. Nichiren said that sometimes good medicine tastes bitter. To me, this means that sometimes the most valuable lessons in life are painful but beneficial and, in a word, compassionate.
Brooke,Thank you for taking the time to try and explain these things to me. You say:
I can see the wisdom of this. However, what is it then, that a Nichren Buddhist would do in a situation like this. Just let them starve, live on the street, die?You say further:Does this mean that there is no distinction regarding the vast range of suffering? That a hangnail is to be treated with the same wisdom (lack of care?) as someone about to undergo perilous surgery? Do people chant for people who are suffering and, if so, how? Or, is the "compassionate" thing to do to ignore them and let them find their own way? This sounds like passive abuse to me.I have a basic understanding of what you are saying here, but no understanding of what it is that you do, do.How?TLTL wrote:
I detect disdain in your question. No, TL, Nichiren Buddhists aren't necessarily dummies. One would hopefully exercise common sense. responses might vary from person to person based on wisdom and knowledge of the situation. Sorry, there's no handy manual in Nichiren Buddhism that tells us what to do when our brother is a drug addict. What would I do? I'd chant about it, gather information and do something. Not being in that situation, I can't tell you exactly what I'd do.You said:Again, I sense your antagonism. People chant for the happiness of others all the time, just as people in other traditions pray for or wish others well. Nichiren Buddhism teaches that we each have the wisdom and capacity to live fully, transforming our suffering into nirvana. We are not necessarily here to "fix" everyone else's problems -- maybe we can offer moral support in some circumstances, and maybe we can instill confidence in another person, trusting them to face and handle their problems on their own. Sometimes it's appropriate to speak our minds even if what we say isn't what the other person wants to hear. Sometimes there's nothing we can do except send daimoku to a person.As I said earlier, there's no one pat response that fits all situations.If you think it's "passive abuse" to trust and allow people to find their own way...what do you prefer? A fundamentalist cult that tells you how to behave all the time? Do you think that would be more compassionate?As for your question about "how" people become enlightened, Nichiren said it's by embracing and upholding the Lotus Sutra, which means chanting Namu-myoho-renge-kyo. This also involves a fair amount of study, IMO, and interacting with others on the path. Other traditions teach other methods.When you come to Buddhism demanding answers you will be disappointed. Theory is not as important as practice. Theory is something someone else gives you. Practice has to be done by you. You have to find your own way. Finger pointing at moon ectcetera. Compassion is something I have experienced but I have never seen anyone explain it to my satisfaction. practice v. theory.
Print is practice, too, mroaks. I would hope compassion is something all Buddhists, in particular Nichiren Buddhists, would be contemplating on an ongoing basis given the "strict" interpretation Brooke elucidated.I don't know if the problem is Nichiren's core teachings themselves, or how he had to deal with the samurai maniacs and thoughtless, money-grubbing priests of his times ("zuiho bini" -- practice needs to fit the times), or what exactly, but I, too, certainly see a terrible lack of campassion in the fundamental sense of empathy and appropriate action in all the sanghas I have been looking at lately.Armchair
Tell a kid: "If you play with matches you will get burned." Same as telling a chanter: "If you seek safe secure sangha in the SGI, you will get burned."Then the kid plays with matches and gets burned. Or a chanter says all shocked: "I was in SGI and they BURNED me." Yah, no kidding.I have more sympathy for the kid with the matches because he is just a child and is testing boundaries. I have much less sympathy for a grown adult who rationalizes an abusive sangha then complains when.. BURN!You want everyone to say awwww Poor Noble Armchair your complaints are so compassionate. Count me out of your pity party. You complain about everyones terrible lack of compassion? How about I complain about your terrible lack of wisdom.
Everyone's sick of this analogy, but it's like divorce. There may come a time in a relationship when the relationship needs to end. My friends and I came to the conclusion several years ago that it was time to end our relationship with a particular sangha. As in bitter divorce, accusations and blame flew from all sides. By moving on and reclaiming total responsibility for my practice, my need to criticize and blame decreased dramatically. There is life after "divorce."Divorce is painful. Emotions are close to the surface. Things are said that one might later regret. In general, I would advise people going through sangha "divorce" to talk with friends or a minister/chaplain in person.I want to stress this, so I'm bolding it....Public message boards cannot provide personal support, and are not intended to be support groups. The medium is great for swapping info, ideas and commentary, but a message board is an inappropriate place to seek counseling.
I do not need or want your support. I reported on a fact in my Buddhist life. I did not want or need a shoulder to cry on then or now. I should have been clearer about it at the time. End of subject. I am sorry I had to find out about the org first hand the hard way, but, guess what, I am finding out a lot about people the hard way. Naive, and, yes, maybe stupid, too.Armchair
Mroaks,I cannot find an empathetic, kind, helpful, Nichiren Buddhist sangha. I tried Nichiren Shu and that didn't work. I am thinking I am maybe not a Nichiren Buddhist at all, although I do like the practice. I am studying Vedanta right now and that is very interesting. Thank you so much for helping to clarify my thinking! Hopefully, your advice, should you choose to share it, will keep me out of trouble in the future. In the mean time, I will listen carefully to all you folks have to say.Best,Armchair
Suitable sanghas are not found. They must be made. Your running around looking for someone to give you what you want and complaining that they don't meet your expectations. Build the sangha you want. Best way to have a friend in faith is to be a friend in faith.
Armchair, the SGI is a cult. The more distance you put between yourself and, yes, even your friends in the cult, the better. When I left after only l5 years, it took effort. How do we know what Nichiren really taught? Impartial academic research is almost nonexistent. I've been away almost eight years. During that time, I began the physical practice of Kundalini as a stand in. Recently I suddenly stopped that also.One friend observed "they ran their course." Rather than say we've moved on, we decided our practice was a nutrient, our vitamin G. I've been experimenting. Not doing gongyo when I have an impending, important occurance. Relying on faith, including faith in my life, my self, my history of practice. Not doing gongyo wasn't defiant, I simply was overwhelmed and didn't get to it. Instead of guilt, I decided to try faith. Instead of superstition, I decided to have confidence. It worked for me. The SGI is a cult. Eventually it will come between you and even your closest,deepest friendships. That is what cults do.
Thank you, Onapath. Your time and words are helpful and I tried to find a way to reply to you off-site, but there was no email addy for you. Please, if any of you have any further thoughts for me on this issue, I am all ears, but reply to me privately, please.Best regards,Armchair