Ive been on the net since practically the beginning, so to speak. Working for Sun Microsystems for so long, way too long actually, I was harassing people on the usenet before most typed in their first WWW. Ok, perhaps I exaggerate but Ive been on for a while. I remember somewhere around 1989/90 when the priesthood conflict began and shortly thereafter Zadankai@nirvana.sun.com was created, as well as alt.religion.buddhism.nichiren. For me it all occurred at roughly the same period in my life.

Back then NSA/SGI was largely uncomfortable with the World Wide Web, even with e-mail. It was looked down upon to use e-mail to contact members. Leaders, and by this I mean my leaders, (territory, HQ, chapter level leaders) never posted to usenet, ever. I vaguely recall Ian McIllraith having a post or two forwarded to Zadankai, but I wouldnt swear to that.

There was no reform movement, no discussion at all other than bitter SGI hate-posts from long-time disgruntled ex-Gakkai members who abandoned their anti-SGI groups instantly after the formation of the temple group and ran to the priests for anti-Gakkai shelter. Bruce Maltz was a big player on ARBN and would soon be accused of a myriad of very unethical tricks such as using multiple anonymous e-mail addresses to fight his fights. Marc Herrick was a known personality and early member of the first Kempon Hokke Shu, and also had his picture taped to the desk of the San Jose Kaikan with a note do not admit. Fun days those were.

We have all come a long way, all in our own individual paths. But there is something lingering in the back of my mind that bugs me. Many of my leaders at that time had jobs in non-computer fields. Few besides me actually worked in the valley (read the Silicon Valley computer industry) and so it was understandable that there would be a long learning curve towards developing the awareness and understanding one usually needs before one is comfortable jumping into the vast cyber-ocean which we call the web.

It is now 2004. I am virtually alone as an SGI leader with any web presence. It is my perception that the leadership in the SGI became instantly self-censoring all those years ago and stayed that way. I can name not even a single district level leader, hell, not even a group-level leader that posts to any discussion groups or website, including even the SGI members-only group Zadankai.

Now back in the day Zadankai was considered a rebel entity of sorts. As we can now see Zadankai is considered by most to be mainstream Gakkai due to its membership constrictions.

I know the leaders to whom I am referring. I will not mention names, but they know who they are. These are not people whom I would have expected to remain shrunken from the net all these years. And yet I cannot imagine that they have self-censored for any reason other than simple fear. This could be fear from being held accountable, fear from having posts misused or quoted out of context, fear from disapproval for higher-up leadership, or perhaps the worst fear of all fear of exclusion from the tribe.

I would expect self-censoring in many religious arenas, but in the battlefield of Nichirens Buddhism? This was the very legacy that Nichiren left for us, his willingness to SPEAK UP and say what he felt was right and just. We will always run the risk of being misquoted, used and abused and scorned for our views. This is simply not a reason to cut out our own cyber-tongues and behave like some church elder.

I fear for myself the day when I become afraid to express myself openly. I realize that I change my mind and change my opinion freely and that there exists the chance that I will write something that I will have to uncomfortably live with, but dammitt, its not like Im going to live forever. Self-censorship is just as wrong as censorship. The years go by and those who remain silent find that they make no mark, no statement that they were even here and instead hide in the safety of the tribes in which they are members. Safety in numbers - just as when we were hiding from beasts in trees so long ago.

After all, were not talking about people who are incapable, were talking about those who are unwilling.

Rev. Greg, Shidoshi