Pascual was known and admired by most all Nichiren Buddhists. Chicago was fortunate because he called it home. Thousands of people had their own precious moments with Pascual. I first got to know him in 1975 when he led a team of dancers in a night parade on the island of Oahu. There were dozens of other times that we interacted on large activities. I still fondly recall talking about his life and smoking a big imported cigar with him after a men’s division meeting in 1999.
We weren’t really close per se, but we were friends. I was a behind-the-scenes World Tribune correspondent and he was the dashing, internationally famous Spanish dancer that all the women swooned over. His level of spiritual development was obvious to anyone in his presence. Over the years, I became his unofficial biographer in Chicago for the various SGI publications, writing about him many times. I even did the ghost writing for his experience in a book of short biographies of famous NSA members for the World Tribune Press back in the early 80s. The first time we sat down for an interview, he said, “I get nervous when anyone writes about me.” It seemed like he was gently telling me to do a professional job and not to make some rookie mistake. Just the way he said it made me want to protect him -- he was such a gentle soul. Fortunately, I never let him down.
Pascual’s life has been chronicled so extensively, there’s no need for me to rehash its splendor. When Pascual fell ill, I spoke to him about what he was going to be facing and sent him my book, Modern Buddhist Healing. He knew that this was going to be his biggest battle but didn’t want me to visit him because it was too far, he was very sick and President Ikeda had given him personal guidance. What could I have possibly added to that? I spoke to him only one more time after he fell ill. I met up with him and Angela as they were entering the Chicago Culture Center for the August 2001 men’s division meeting and he thanked me for the book and said that he hoped I sold a million copies. His hair was thinned and he had lost a lot of weight, but he had a glowing aura about him.
Pascual was delivering the keynote address that afternoon. He spoke for forty-five minutes about his battle with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and how he was declared to be in complete remission back in May. As a finale, Pascual and Angela performed a dance of such elegance, beauty, and grace, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room.
I was quite troubled to learn that Pascual had been traveling from city to city to give his experience to members so soon after his remission. Having fought and overcome fourth stage lymphoma myself, I knew how difficult the slightest exertion was, let alone a cross-country tour. The body needs time to rest and restore itself.
After discussing this concern with some senior leaders, I felt kind of stupid. Wasn’t he burning his life into white-hot ash for the sake of the Lotus Sutra? He must have known exactly what he was doing. Weren’t millions of people across the world chanting for his good health? I was also chided because President Ikeda himself had seen Pascual when he visited Japan, and knew the truth of his condition. What did I know? I just knew that Pascual was a warrior -- a highly evolved spiritual being who was exerting every atom of his being for Buddhism. I prayed for him, never losing hope that he could recover.
As time went on I would receive ominous, sometimes contradictory announcements about his condition. His cancer had returned with a fury. We all prayed harder. His condition worsened and when the end came, I felt like my older brother had died. My thoughts at that time were conflicted. Millions of people, including Sensei were praying for his survival and still he died.
His situation reminded me of a quote from the Illness as a Metaphor, by Susan Sontag. “The body’s treachery is thought to have its own inner logic.” Why should millions of prayers go unanswered and a great human being experience such a terrible ordeal while so many seemingly rotten people prosper to an old age? The only way it makes sense to me was that Pascual’s battle with his karma was on a level that was beyond my comprehension. I don’t understand why it happened the way it did to such a magnificent person.
To me there are more questions than there are answers. The only thing I do know is that Pascual won in the end. He is a Buddha.