If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know I don't go out of my way to be nice. What is niceness? Telling people what they want to hear. Validating people, playing along, saying attaboy or attagirl, never saying anything that might insult or enrage someone. If by some chance, something you say hurts someone's feelings, you apologize and take it back, no matter how dead-on you may be in your analysis...because you're being nice.
Niceness is not kindness. Part of being kind is telling people what they need to hear rather than feeding their delusions. Suppose someone frequently posts about how much his head hurts because he keeps hitting himself with a hammer. Nice guy says: "There, there, you poor thing." Compassionate guy says: "Duh, stop hitting yourself in the head with a freaking hammer."
That's what I do, and people think I'm a jerk. What am I missing here?
4 comments
You're an ass.
>>That's what I do, and people think I'm a jerk. What am I missing here?<<What you are missing here is that you are expecting people to like you and thank you for acting compassionately (in their best interests), instead of acting "nice". That is very rare response, in my experience.
Imagine if the Japanese military authorities had liked Nichiren and thanked him for pointing out the errors of the state... It just doesn't work that way.Not that I'm equating you with Nichiren, mroaks. And not that I think you're always "dead-on" in your analysis. (then again, who is?) But I'm glad you still have the energy to stir the pot.
I can't disagree with you, Cultmember. I have often thought that you and I are similar in this regard. This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship...